a test.

One of the most incredible, amazing, inspirational teachers/human beings I've ever come in contact with has brain cancer. I had a class with him called We the People where our motto was "The pursuit of truth in the company of friends." We talked about real things that were really hard and still never really figured it all out, but had so much fun pursuing this truth. Mr. P always made sure to keep his opinions hidden, playing devils advocate. Maybe I was just really dumb, but I never truly knew the way Mr. P felt about things. Or even if he was a Christian. Through his brain cancer, reading his caring bridge, I've seen more of God's power and love in that man than I've seen in anyone else in my entire life. He is going through something terrifying. A civil war. Yet he spends his time proclaiming the Gospel and a God who loves him and is using this to do immeasurably good things. I'm so lucky to have called this man my teacher and only hope to one day make as big of an impact on the world as he has. Since he is unable to teach for the rest of the year, he has been spending his time being a teacher in cyberspace, a land he is very uncomfortable with. It has been such a joy to read these posts laughing, crying, laughing, and crying. Well this was one of his posts that is a test for atheists, which he later says is a test for all of us. I would be a fool not to post it on here.

 Do you remember earlier I posted that I really respected atheists? Always have - I love how they destroy the Golden Corral Buffet - more of us should do that - but they replace it with nothing. I have certainly flirted with atheism during my civil wars. I always knew it was a dark hill but I also suspected that most atheists were just like me - they WANT to believe but just can't because of some wretched civil war in their life. They are angry at God and fight. I was angry at God and surrendered. In being angry at God atheists are like all of us - it just varies in degrees and motions. I know and have known many atheists and have loved them all dearly. I never saw them as the enemy as so many "Christians" did. They were in so many ways just like me and I sometimes worried that they might be right - I just hoped they weren't.   Remember we are pursuing truth as friends. This is a multiple choice test - it will be possible to make a 100. ATHEIST ONLY:

A     Chance    Random, disconnected people and their events swirled together at just the right time to connect some cool coincidences that are fun to ponder and explore as we deal with Mr. P's brain cancer and just hope somehow maybe he will be ok and maybe he's got 5 more years ... well if he doesn't make it he was going to die in 10 years anyway and he was going to head off into.... (yes I cried during that).  We had this discussion earlier in the year in We the People. I did a squatch walk that night where I pondered the god of chance. It truly did seem to be the only other option to choose. It could be right - I had flirted with chance - I decided that night to hope for hope. I could be wrong - I always worried I could be wrong. I assumed that atheists always had my same dilemma - what if I am wrong? 

B   Tricks -  Mr. Parrish and his wife and Jackson and Katie Lee's Grandma and Dr. V and Alex Ford and Adam Griffin are ALL lying about these stories and are all in cahoots (one of my favorite words) and just love messing with everyone while we deal with Mr. P's "circumstance"

C  The Angry God   

Here is another reason I always respected atheists and blamed my fellow "Christians" for their plight. I had fought against God quite a bit in my life but I was a wimp.I questioned lots of things about God - Was he really there? Why did he make such garbage like me and the people around me? Usually I wondered why he made such a piece of c r a p  like me and I got angry at him but how does Linus fight God? Where else was I to go? I sorta admired Pattonesque atheists b/c they had some real courage - they weren't the meandering Golden Corrall folks who have no hills to explore. Atheists usually stand on a hill and were willing to tell others something solid(who does that anymore?) I also knew that atheists and I believed the same thing - "God is out to get me - he wants to smite me" - He is all about duty and submission and doing the right thing.  I was the Linus/Charlie wondering why God made me the way he did - boy God did you mess up!  What a puny warrior you have for your army - just slap me out of your army and let me go hide.Surely YOU don't like me -   Why did you make me the way I am? Everyone knows how pathetic I am and I try to hide my patheticness but I just can't - I am always exposed as a fraud. Well God I know you hate me but I guess I gotta love you and I guess you begrudgingly gotta love me even though you don't really want to. The only difference between me and the atheist was I (Linus/Charlie) submitted. Atheists rejected such a flawed God - why wouldn't they? Who would want to work for such an angry God?   And there I blamed so many of my fellow "Christians."   Where did the notion of the angry God come from?  (later post)

D  A GOD of LOVE  The God you always wanted to believe in is real and you can get over YOURSELF and begin searching and pondering the LOVING GOD!!!!!.

I know there is a major elephant in the room regarding my "circumstance"   -    How could a loving God give Mr. P brain cancer? What kind of God is that?    I will tell you - A God who loves me and is protecting me using all of you  - I have seen that more than any time in my life these past 3 weeks. You must believe me - I am not in despair - I actually feel incredible joy and peace and love  - me - Charlie/Linus - you think that's me? How does Charlie/Linus say he is not in despair and he has BRAIN CANCER. In fact he feels peace.

I am NOT lying - remember I promised to tell truth to you my friends.God has loved me so well through all of you - my family has great peace - ask them. How does that happen? Mr. P has brain cancer and is telling us he feels great peace, love, compassion from God. That God is using you ALL - yes even the atheists - to love Mr. P. That God orchestrated some amazing events at an MRI that was one of the best times of Mr. P's life and you are now pondering whether or not to believe in that God you always hoped might really exist. How does that happen?       (let's make that a test for all)

Mr P, you have changed so many lives and you are using this hill as an opportunity to spread His kingdom on Earth. I can't think of a better man for the job than you. Please fight. You are so worthy to be in Patton's army and you are no Charlie/Linus. Our troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. I will forever be in debt to you for showing me the beauty of the pursuit of truth in the company of friends.