Test. One, Two. Is this thing on?
That's right. I'm back. This past year has been such a whirlwind and it has been one that I have not documented very much in this very sweet and special place that I used so often throughout college. That partly makes me sad, but it is also kind of special. So often we focus on documenting mundane along with major life moments, that we miss truly experiencing them. I'm really guilty of this. Just ask Mr. I-always-walk-ahead-25-feet-before-realizing-nicole-is-taking-a-picture-and-I've-been-walking-by-myself-this-whole-time, also known as my husband Keith LeGrone.
Did you hear that? I said it. My husband. What a joy it is to finally use those words to identify Keith LeGrone! We got engaged in July of 2013, I started my first teaching job in August, I threw my entire being into this teaching job until early June of 2014, got married at the end of June, went on a honeymoon to Mexico in early July, and went on an across the country roadtrip to move with my new husband to Houston, Texas. So it's been a lot that has happened. But what an amazing adventure it has been.
So the question everyone is wanting to ask...what is Nicole going to do in Htown? So glad you asked!
I have no idea.
I'm at a very exciting, yet incredibly terrifying point in my life right now. The exciting part is that I have complete and utter freedom to explore opportunities of things I would love to do. The terrifying part is that I have complete and utter freedom to explore opportunities of things I would love to do. I've never experienced this feeling of being so exhilarated and simultaneously frightened by the very same thing. I start out every morning being reassured by the Lord and his plans for me as I read His word. I feel like God has incredible plans for me and the anxiety I have now is incomparable to the glory and joy that he has in store for me. Then the clock reads 11:00 am and I start the infamous google search. Just searching and searching, typing and typing, scrolling and scrolling. I write down anything that seems interesting. And I start to feel that fear build up inside of me. The feeling that I'm not qualified. That I won't get it, even if I apply. Like maybe I shouldn't even pursue it out of total fear. But I continue to search. And search. And search. And I come undone.
Did I mention I've only been looking for two days? I tend to be a little over dramatic with my emotions, which is both a blessing and a curse. It is amazing to me how little patience I have with myself and with the Lord. I don't want to take the time to struggle. I don't want to look for anything. I want to hear a pleasant and chipper knock on the door and find a job wrapped in a pretty bow on my doorstep. Isn't that how it works? I feel the struggle that is in Romans 7. "For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." I know He has plans for me. I know He won't leave me or forsake me. I know He is trustworthy. But I just can't seem to hold on to that truth. I let it slip through my fingers and cling to something much more familiar. Worry. Anxiety. Stress. Why would I want to hold on to that? When there is beautiful truth offering itself to me? "What a wretched [woman] I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?"I'm a total Paul right now. But the best thing about Romans 7 is all the goodness in Romans 8.
For the law of the Spirit of life has set you FREE in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"
For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed to us.
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for GOOD, for those who are called according to his purpose.
If God is for us, who can be against us?
No, in ALL these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Don't those things seem more attractive than the lies of fear that creep their way into my heart? They're not just attractive. They are TRUE. They are solid. They are life changing and life giving. And I'm so thankful to have a loving and patient husband to go through the roller coaster with me.
Stay tuned for more. Also this song is beautiful and thematic for my life right now.
And the sun is does not cause us to grow.
It is the rain that will strengthen your soul.
It will make you whole.
So the question everyone is wanting to ask...what is Nicole going to do in Htown? So glad you asked!
I have no idea.
I'm at a very exciting, yet incredibly terrifying point in my life right now. The exciting part is that I have complete and utter freedom to explore opportunities of things I would love to do. The terrifying part is that I have complete and utter freedom to explore opportunities of things I would love to do. I've never experienced this feeling of being so exhilarated and simultaneously frightened by the very same thing. I start out every morning being reassured by the Lord and his plans for me as I read His word. I feel like God has incredible plans for me and the anxiety I have now is incomparable to the glory and joy that he has in store for me. Then the clock reads 11:00 am and I start the infamous google search. Just searching and searching, typing and typing, scrolling and scrolling. I write down anything that seems interesting. And I start to feel that fear build up inside of me. The feeling that I'm not qualified. That I won't get it, even if I apply. Like maybe I shouldn't even pursue it out of total fear. But I continue to search. And search. And search. And I come undone.
Did I mention I've only been looking for two days? I tend to be a little over dramatic with my emotions, which is both a blessing and a curse. It is amazing to me how little patience I have with myself and with the Lord. I don't want to take the time to struggle. I don't want to look for anything. I want to hear a pleasant and chipper knock on the door and find a job wrapped in a pretty bow on my doorstep. Isn't that how it works? I feel the struggle that is in Romans 7. "For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate." I know He has plans for me. I know He won't leave me or forsake me. I know He is trustworthy. But I just can't seem to hold on to that truth. I let it slip through my fingers and cling to something much more familiar. Worry. Anxiety. Stress. Why would I want to hold on to that? When there is beautiful truth offering itself to me? "What a wretched [woman] I am! Who will deliver me from this body of death?"I'm a total Paul right now. But the best thing about Romans 7 is all the goodness in Romans 8.
For the law of the Spirit of life has set you FREE in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
For you did not receive the spirit of slavery to fall back into fear, but you have received the Spirit of adoption as sons, by whom we cry, "Abba! Father!"
For I consider the sufferings of this present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed to us.
But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience.
And we know that for those who love God all things work together for GOOD, for those who are called according to his purpose.
If God is for us, who can be against us?
No, in ALL these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.
Don't those things seem more attractive than the lies of fear that creep their way into my heart? They're not just attractive. They are TRUE. They are solid. They are life changing and life giving. And I'm so thankful to have a loving and patient husband to go through the roller coaster with me.
Stay tuned for more. Also this song is beautiful and thematic for my life right now.
And the sun is does not cause us to grow.
It is the rain that will strengthen your soul.
It will make you whole.
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